Talking about weather and self esteem

I’ve seen a lot of snow lately.

More than I have ever seen in the past 29 years. It is cold but so beautiful if you’re brave enough to stand still and wait for a snowflake to fall and land vertically so that you can see it really has a complicated structure. Then you go off screaming “I saw a snowflake! I saw a snowflake!” and people look at you and whisper things you can’t hear.

Snow is fun, is cold but soft. It makes no sound. I like it a lot. That’s why, when I first heard “Dirty Paws” by Of Monsters And Men immediately something clicked. I was blessed with a clear view of what I wanted to paint. And this is how Creatures of snow came to be:

Le creature della neve

It was the first time I painted fur, and the first time I painted one of my girl who does not look straight at you. She’s staring at something, she’s miles and miles away from here and now, she’s like snow itself. I worked quickly, everything was so clear in my mind I had no hesitation. And now it is one of my favourite paintings (along with Little Everyday uselessness and Hope is a thin being).

I am developing my style and I’m enjoying this process of discovering what I really can do. I am also developing some sort of self-esteem, I am comfortable with my paintings, I am ready to explain when people ask questions about antlers, fishes and why my girls have these big heads. I feel comfortable enough to write Galleries about my paintings and see if someone likes them.

Obviously there are so so many talented artists out there competition is extremely harsh and I am not expecting to receive much attention, but a short answer like “It’s cool but we can’t afford another artist” is better than complete and still silence. Then, there are answers like “Oh, good job, go and develop your style” which, translated is “you’re not good enough for us(now)”. And it’s fine too because art is something so personal you’re going to find people who love what you do, people who hate what you do, people who think you are naive.

An answer I’m not used to is “we don’t look at portfolios which are not on personal websites”. And I ask myself: why? Does a gallery on Tumblr make me look less professional than a gallery at http://www.valeria.com? I can understand someone telling me “we don’t look at photos on a computer screen because colors are not authentic or because photos can be not-professionally shot and blurry”. What’s in a name, would ask Shakespeare. Is Tumblr not professional? FB is naive? WordPress is for children playing with crayons on the kitchen floor? I am still trying to find an answer. Oh and just to be precise: I don’t “hate” the gallery people who answered me like this, I am just trying to find a reason.

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